mysmallbox is moving to a new site!!!

i da penat tuka template blog ni, pastu ade plak error kalu nak convert balik to another template. then, i takley edit my widget, i so tense up! huhu...so i decided to move to a site, so called wordpress. 

i da lamer da sebenarnyer eyeing this site, cumer x wat aper2 post pon kat situ. so, now, I the owner of  "A View from a SmallBOX"  is moving her blog from BLOGSPOT to WORDPRESS. oyeah~ 

the new version of MYSMALLBOX 

when everthing i done so far is in vain

...or maybe not. 

the result of my effort may not be like i wanted, but there is something else that i got in return. I already got the answer for my phantom questioned. 

at least, i know, my effort is not going to waste. 

"Not to get something you really want is a heaven's luck" 

but it's little bit sad though. but its not a pain.

road to victory 

( actually it's a road behind my hostel...haha...)

i dont want to give up...

on everything i already hold in my hand.

i dont want them to lose them within my sight.

not anymore. 

so please, God, dont let make me feel ,

' I HAD ENOUGH ' 

because later on,

the only thing left for me, is pain.

Studying 1st year of medicine at University of Charles - Faculty of Medicine in Hradec kralove, Czech Republic.

1. There is no such things as top prioritiy subject here. Everything is equally important.
( kalau dulu ye ar, subject malay n english most of us take them quite lightly, but here even the language class can decide whether u will proceed to 2 year or not)

2. Enjoy every leisure time you have with books and some sports.

(for stamina. I play futsal!!! yeay!!!)

3. Almost everyday there will be microtest for the respective subject on that day.

4. Treat every microtest as final examination.

( mmg kene giler2 kene skor. kalau fail, ibarat mcm fail final examintaion- tp kalu fail satu ke dua ok lagi...jgn fail lebih dri 5...parah akibatnyer)

5. Who said everyone can sit for final exam? not here. only when you fullfill the requirement, such as pass the microtest (65% of them?) , credit test, and some sort of requirement ( depends on what subjects u take).
then only, you can book the date for ur final exam.

6. to book the date for the final exam, book the wisely ( such as ur preparation state, mental stability) and, eventough u have 3 month for the final examination, dont keep on postpone it, if possible end them up quickly!. and one more thing, be aware of who will be ur examiner on respective subjects.

( unfortunately, u cannot choose ur examiner, except for biophysics subjects) reason? read no 7.

7. Final exam will be done orally.

8. Always, always, rely on Allah, as He the only one can help you in exam.
( tpi jgn la spnjg 6 thun jer begini, kita kan org Islam...mmg dah kene totally devoted to Allah. But the point is, ask Him to help, guide and lead you in ur life and whatever ur doing. and most of senior says, when
ur doing the final exam, u can feel Allah's help. He feel really close, as  He always does- even when we are not realise bout it- it's true right?)

and seniors say, as we goes to 2nd year, 3rd and goes on, the burden is getting lighter and ligther. 

So they only say that only in the 1st year we will be like this, we have to persevere!

1st year is really challenging, and thats what makes it different with other medical school in some other country.

note: i did feel tension. some of the results of the microtest i got make able to make me feel down. but i did my best. and i'll continue working hard, as i always did. i do realise, this is the first time in my life i working really dead hard, having this inferior feeling and always feel like i'm left behind. as the whole, i like this new enviroment. it make me feel like " i want to work with all i got" seriously. alhamdullillah. there are reasons why i'm going to czech republic, not new zealand...

"If this is your route, God/Allah will lead you through..."

only with this words, i'm able to face the hardship.


 

when everything seems so special

...then, it's just mean that the HEART is in it's excited state...haha..

Outdated for more than 3 weeks, the busiest year will start this Monday.

the tittle quite confusing for me. ah, heck. forget it. anyway, i just want to say that, i'm back and continously keep my blog outdated regularly. Haha!!! I'm at lost! 

[actually, this post is for updating purpose only special request from my dearest friend...]

o yeah, i already upload some of my pic at this foreign country on flickr, do visit them, yoroshiku-ne!

haih...
the busiest year will start this monday... ( i think i already mention it..o yeah, the title says so...)
one more thing, i found back my long lost love...(or so i thought...is it wrong for me to think like that?)

haha...

makes me happy

why i dont feel their presence around me before? until the last moment, suddenly i know how much they treasured me as one of their precious friend...and my guilt conscience kick in like crazy...

huahuahua...

whatever~

one step toward womanhood (yeah~right...;p)

today is my cooking class!
i'm making cookies. i dont know what it's name, but according to my aunt (the recipe provider) it is called brownies. However, as long as i remember, the THING that i made was not brownies-more into chocolate cookies.
well, whatever it is named, it still the BEST cookies i ever done in my whole life ( lets see, i just make cookies for about 5 times? i guess...)
i'm so proud of it...
hehe...
here are the pictures of my DELICiOUS CooKies I EVER MADE so far~

understanding the meaning of 'piracy'

 

with courtesy mark shoyer (http://markshroyer.com)

interesting site...

hey guys, i just found out a site, an interesting site. the site is quite interesting to navigate. cool. 

the site is not about fun, movie/book review, music and sort. But the site is about a story. Real story. How the author of the site spending time with his dying father. his father has some quite resemblance with my grandpa. Personally, when i'm going through the site, i feel  quite sentimental. hehe...anyway, take a look at this site! 

Days With My Father 

p/s: to navigate the site, u only have to scroll and click the pic...

reflection

i got this from a dear friend. good enough to reflect on oneself of what i've been doing all this year. 

"Cinta Allah yang Maha Pencinta tidak memilih siapa, rupa, gaya dan bagaimana keadaannya.CintaNya boleh direbut oleh sesiapa sahaja, asalkan rajin berusaha untuknya. Cinta yang tidak pernah luput walau sesaat malahan terus berkekalan. Berbeza dengan manusia yang hanya cinta pada yang disukai dan diminati. Cintanya pula bermusim dan tidak kekal. Sewaktu disenangi dicintai, bila jemu atau benci tidak lagi dicintai malah ditinggalkan. Cinta manusia juga terhad dan ada kepentingan. Isteri cintakan suami kerana suami tempatnya bergantung. Ibu mencintai anak kerana anak itulah penghiburnya di kala sunyi. kawan menyayangi kawan kerana dapat berkongsi merasai senang dan susahnya hidup. Pengikut sayangkan ketua kerana ketua menjadi penaungnya. Namun allah yang Maha Pencipta“kadangkala kita berdoa untuk kuat tapi banyak dugaannya, apabila kita minta cerdik tapi masalah pula timbul, adakala kita meminta kebahagiaan tetapi huru hara pula, namun sebenarnya dugaan itulah menjadikan mental kita kuat, masalah itulah menjadikan kita berfikir, huru hara itulah menjadikan kita tabah, namun sekiranya kita melihat hikmat setiap kejadiaan itu.. kalaulah manusia tahu hadith ini” telah berkata jibril a.s : wahai tuhan , engkau sampaikanlah hajat hambamu ini, maka Allah s.w.t menjawab : biarkanlah hambamu itu, kerana aku mencintai suaranya.. (yakni suara orang beriman yang sentiasa berdoa)”riwayah anas bin malik r.a.. "

repressed desire

i have these kind of desire; to give all my best in;

1.  whatever i'm doing.
2.  what/stuff that i like.

as far as i concern, if i ever reflect on myself for this 19 years i live,  i only had fulfill my desire for no 2. but not so much for my desire in no 1. 

why?
i tell u. both desire are different. completely different.
why?
figure it out by urself. 

why? 

who knows...

...

is it still possible to move forward while holding on to past that you can not possibly abandon?

when someone you love is far from your sight, what would you do?

this is my grandpa.
I love my grandpa.

when i was lil gal, whenever my gramps come visit to my house, he would bring his youngest daughter and I to have a walk around my town, by feet.
it is more enjoyable to walk on feet on that time, he said.
we also seldom get lost in my own town, but it's fun to lost in my own place. ( well, it's me the tour guide, the 5 year old me, what do u expect?)

how many years it take, to be able to notice that my grandpa is changing.
since i studied in boarding school for more than 4 years, i rarely went to village to meet my gramps.
lets see, in a year, mybe 4-5 times? then, until last year i was informed, that my grandpa actually suffered from Alzheimer.

although it's still on early stage, but for me, it's like the end for me.
he suffer from loss of memory ( he says my house is somewhat different from the last time he came to our house, but the truth is, my house had done nothing to it's structure, at the very least, what's changing is the wall's colour) ,unable to control his muscle on his own accord, have poor insights ( he did suffer from cataracts, but, his insights indeed poor, like, unable to distinguish distance) ,personality changes ( he is way too quiet than he used to be, but he did talk if he need to).

but, lucky me, he still remember me ( maybe, my style of clothes, the way i talk and my hairstyle still the same, so he recognise me).
and he also seems to know that i will be away for 6 years. but on recent occasion ( my aunt's wed),he takes time to recognise that the beau(?) in front of him is me, his grandaughter. 
what will happen in next 6 years???
i dont know.
but, what did i know, the last stage for alzheimer patient is, bedridden, uncomprehending and mute.
i would say i'm quite afraid though, thinking the way it's coming.

the last 2 days, my gramps visit us. today, my aunt will take them home as my aunt just return from their honeymoon in tioman island. ( hey, my place is quite near with tioman island, mind to come over?)
and now my grandpa is sleeping peacefully in the bedroom like he usually do. and my mum and my mum's mum ( basically it's my grandma) are busy at the kitchen preparing lunch, while busy gossiping.
And I, busy stumbling and posting for the blog, while at the same time busy babysitting for my 8 yr old sis who is having fever ( yeah, like hell i would like to babysitting for her! )

one thing i realised, when i know my gramps having this disease, is i could no longer able to meet his eye anymore. why?
it must hurt him knowing how my attitude towards him.
it hurts me too.

win or lose does not matter, but the excitement it gives that matter. That's what football is.

yeah, that's would i say whenever i watch soccer match. yesterday was the game between selangor and kedah, and as i expected kedah wins! yeay! ( ok, i am not a traitor, i still go for Johor FC -not johor pasir gudang tough, it's sucks)

well, it does not matter, as i really favour kedah FC esp it's coach, azraai khor abdullah, who always wear his purple shirt. maintaining his cool images in the field despite the heat in the field. He also wear specs. ( well, i'm kind of fetish for those who wear specs. kyaa~. those who where specs, beware of me...hehe)

I would prefer the game in the first half, rather than 2nd half as it was really full of surprise, the 1st goal were scored by selangor with nice movement, but kedah wont give up, they fight them back ( eventough it's seem Kedah's goalkeeper kind of wavering). And then Kedah made their first goal and less than 3 mintues, they scored again! yeay! 

Minutes afterward, both team keep struggling, and attacking each other opponent. i also see how nice Kedah play, their cooperation between team members should be praised, tak mengelabah sangat macam selangor. berterabur. but still, i would recall last night game as fast game.  finally, kedah wins the Malaysia League 3-2 to selangor...

( this pic with courtesy from Berita Harian online. http://www.bharian.com.my/Current_News/BH/Sunday/Sukan/20080824001852/Article)

As long as i remembered, in my life, i could recall only several game in Malaysia League that have this kind of game, the fast-exciting game. I glad i watch this match.  i love the feeling of excitement, when the ball keep on passing, through the opponent, and how crazy they run for one ball, and how weather and surroundings affects the game. not only that but i also like to observe the players's emotion and attitude. it really interesting.

and yeah, i watch this game together with my family. ( basically, saturday nite is my dad's prime time to watch the soccer.)
i wonder, with the remaining one month before i fly to czech, how many times that i'll be able to spend my time with my family like this?
maybe it would be the last game we enjoyed together...

watching this game made me feel that i  also want to run on the wide field like crazy kicking the ball around, passing them to the team member, scoring points. but, here, it's kind of limited to me, a girl. at my sub-urban place there is no soccer club for girls, so i could only watch the boys playing soccer every evening with my dad. but, still i got some friends who would like to play soccer 5 on 5, but it's rare ( in a year, how many times that i play with them? hurm...could not remember...T.T) my friends now are all scattered away. 

then in college. altough it's only once, i able to play futsal.
well, quite fun. the opponent are tough. but while playing there are boys watching, so it's quite uncomfortable to move around, but it's only for awhile la. after i got the ball on my feet, i forgot everything, haha...i also punch (accidentally) the opponent...well, she rush to me like some mad bull in rodeo ( is it harsh word? sorry, did not meant so) i accidentally held out my fist and WHACK to her abdomen. from the sound i make, i could guess it's quite painful...i'm awfully sorry for her but yeah, deep down in my heart  i scream, ( cool! i did punch her!!! )..haha...

well, i just hope, i have this desire to play soccer wherever i go. i wish i could find soccer club for girls when i pursue my studies, aside from karate club...i just cant stay still...

countdown fly to rep czech: exactly 1 month. 

a song that recalls memories

i really like this song, whenever i listen to it, whether i want to or not, i suddenly recalls those people who had done lots of things to me. be it my beloved parents, teachers, friends, and family. now that i'll be quite far away from home, so it somehow feel nostalgic. Bah! hehe... i dont know what i'm talking about...

"You Raise Me Up"

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up... To more than I can be.

You raise me up... To more than I can be.

Questions that have no definite answer.

Today is the graduation day~! yeay!!!
i'll upload pic on the flickr later on, but as for today...

i were asked by a so-called friend, ( as we are not close enough, heck!)

"why people love to leave something that complicated and leave people in vain?"

and i said...
          ''what?''

who the heck he refering 'people'?
Out of nowhere he blurt it out, I was clueless.
Then he left me, with his sharp,sinister looking on his face.
That, enough to ruin my day, in addition some of my stuff I left on table are nowhere to found.
Luckily, i have my friends around me, although just a bit, help me forget of what he said earlier to me.
But, at home, those question keep ringing in my head, till it make my head hurts like hell.
I can't just ignore what he said, as he say it with 'that' face.

As i keep on recalling the question he asked, i wondering, isn't it should be ME that suppose to ask him the questions. What in the world he thinks of himself?
For those who knows me, u might know who the hell i'm talking bout right?
Well, it just that, i want to fret my frustation on the net, it's annoying though.
haha!!!
I want to go sleep~...tired...

5 reasons why I neglect the internet that I love so much for more than 5 days.

1. I indulge myself into creative media publishing. I start to design + create + manipulate picture on my own, using appropriate tools that i found [not accidentally tough] from the net. Those pic that i make, i intend to upload them at flickr, but i dont feel to do so...currently i'm using GIMP, it's not that i hate to use photoshop but, i found that gimp can do many more stuff than photoshop, and yet, it also can integrate with some of photoshop's functions. cool huh? and one and foremost, GIMP is free!

2. I have to manage my own life, with my own hand, and of course the things that i've done is troublesome to my parents [ i think so].  

• I dont have any licence to drive a car nor ride a motorcylce freely on the road, so my dearest dad have to drive for me to travel to wherever heck i want to. 
• I dont have money, so my dearest parent have to support me. 
• I hate to be around people, hate to do groceries, so again...whenever i need stuff ( there's not much of it actually, just stuff like biscuits, candies...), i will attach my own list to their list, whenever they do the shopping! ( whenever i think about it, i realise i'm really a troublesome daughter...too bad~)

3. I'm on holiday! yeay~ [special holiday of course! The truth is - i went back to my grandparents' home...bah~!]

4. I, mysteriously found myself in kitchen, surrounding by flour, cooking chocolate, butter, and somewhere around, there are onion, lettuce, mayonaise, and any other green stuff, and i dumbfounded that, i dont know what i'm doing there. [geez, i'm suck at these stuff]

5. Running away from someone who is annoying to be  with. but ironically i miss her/him. It just that i don't feel like talking.

REVIVE!!!!

revive!
after more than a week my antibody keep on increasing their numbers, fighting with all sort of viruses+bacterias, my body condition had returned to it's healthy state, eventough, there still some part of my body seems having it's aftereffect of the battle between the antibody and the pathogens.
but, whatever it is, the main point is...my body revived!!!
yeay! i want to celebrate it!

having this kind of battle had keep me restraint from doing my daily 'vigorous' activities.

•     unable to eat all my favourite dishes+snackes
•     unable to play outside from my home
•     unable to move freely on my own accord

but, what makes me feel very agitated is,
unable to stay up late night in front of my laptop [thus keeping me off from the network and watching my fav vids]

now, i fully back on my feet...i should take my revenge head on!
yeah! let's surfing like crazy! 24/7!!!
wuhuu~!!!

"yesterday is history
tomorrow is mysteries
today is a gift, that's what its called 'present'"

This phrase is quite a catch, don't u think so?

Easier way to lead ur life?

"it's easier to be pessimistic and blame everything for anything that doesn't go your way.
it's easier to just lose hope and let go.
it's easier not to put effort into anything.
it's eaiser to be free and let everything slip.
it's easier not to care about a damn single thing.
it's easier to lose hope.


it's just easier that way.

isn't it? "

Is it so?
Personally,I think that is a foolish statement.
Eventough, I believe, most of us do think that way. Me too.
But that's only for a moment, after allowing that thought goes in my mind, i just let it pass.
I nvr have serious thought on that statement.

Frankly, if I really want my life to be THAT easy, would I ever find statisfication that I desire so much in my life?
I believe, without hardship, problems, life would be bored like hell and no excitement!
Leading life like that is meaningless, needless to say.
I enjoy feeling scared, troubled, even stress!
As , when I able to find ways to escape from the problems...
I feel very good about myself!
and soon afterthat, I start longing for troubles and problems...
But, i still have limits though.
That's when that foolish statement came to my head.
As i mention earlier, i just let it pass for a moment though.
As I want to enjoy the excitement being in trouble anyway~

I just hope that, ppl are not really gives up on their hopes to stay alive.
As i believe, as long as u alive in this world, there still hope.

if u feel alone, believe me, ur selfish-only thinking about ur self.
u dont even think about other ppl who cares bout u, which u dont realise it.
evn if ur alone, there still actually cares-God.
As why He evn bother to create u in the first place, if He wants u to live ur lives!
if u feel ur a failure, so what?
it's not like u lose ur life right? u still alive.
and u had to find ur ways to find find a new success, new way, ur way!
make it a new counterattack!
I got carried away though.
Well, it just that i feel kind of annoyed of ppl who tend to give up evn wthout trying.
it makes me sad... though.

I, as a muslim, knows well.
That there is always someone watching over me, cares for me.
Always be for me ( cruel me, who sometimes forget about him...)
and whenever I had that foolish thought,
i always pray to god.
Hope that he lead me to roght path, which
sometimes I mistaken it as bad for me, but in fact is not,
as only He knows the best for me.
He is my God.
And muslims, should know better, that
we live only for Him,
no matter what we do,
no matter what kiind of hardship u face through,
Allah is the one we should live our life for.
and
only for him
we depends on...

Is it wrong to be 'different'?

Weird...i have this kind of 'interest' which make me totally different from people around me.
eventough i'm still in the right path, but deep down myself, i know i'm different, in a way that contradicts with the norm in society...
Oh my~
i hope someone will help me keep me straight in this path...
but i wonder if anyone understands with what i mean with 'different'.
it's quite troublesome actually, to split it out what exactly i'm 'different'...
i think...
i had to perseverance as

"perseverance will bring great success" ~quote from someone else's motto...>,<

waiting in vain

from that day on, i still keep on waiting.
waiting for something that is hopeless.
bah!
~~~

Social Network: My Space, Facebook, Friendster, etc...

lately(or should i mention, eversince the IB result was announced?), there are some of my blogger friends and friends that asked me.

" do u have any social networking account? u know...my space, friendster, facebook....and sorts"

heck of course i know. I'm ITGS student, i know what the h**l of social networking.
instead, i'm telling those people

" i delete my account already,it had been months now, since the IRP program starting around april"

some of those people stare me blankly, some laugh, ( probably they already seen my page even before i delete them, so they know it's quite impossible if i'm saying that i delete those account, reasoning how interactive my page was).

But also, some people bother to know why I delete those account (why bother? my choice right?), and some even dont even bother to ask why I delete those ( heck! they only asked me bout it so that they can 'expanding' their network by 'add' me as their 'friend'! Damn! like I care! - well I do care in a way)

ok, for those who asked why, let me tell u-clearly and frankly, what those social network means to me.
it means nothing, wasting my time, nurturing so-called 'popular' attitude...

I know, these site exist to keep friends in touch ( of course, that's why these type of site exist and keep expanding), letting others keep updated about our self. ( ppl can choose what info to be updated bout) and getting new friends. Instead, above all the reasons, i find myself lost in the network.
i dont know why, but i don't put up info so much in my page (like usually people do. Well, I do feel some kind of inferior?) and I was sucker at keeping updating my own profile.

"so u dont have these accounts, how u manage to keep update with ur friends?"

"i'm using IM(currently using ym), and all my friends have my ym ( i suppose). so, if they want to know the very updated info about me, they can directly asking me through ym, that's clear, and i know who i'm releasing my personal info to, more like i feeling secured this way actually"

They asked me

" so, other people, outside of ur friends circle, know nothing bout u? i mean, this is WWW and we are now in globalization era!"

Heck, why i need to use social network just to say 'hello! i am globalizing!'

daa~. i have my way to say that i'm globalist! then, why these blog exist in the first place??? also, not only i have this blog, i have several sites, and one of them is at flickr! (why am I so proud over this thing? o yeah, i'm still obsessed with Flickr, since i just register at it days ago)

arggh~these people, only know to condem other people, who did not go 'along with their flow'. laughing at people just because I'm different.
heck, i'm the one who laughing at u people! because ur all the same! hahaha!!! ( laughing like a freak moron~)

Gee, why i'm get carried away over such lil thing?
answer: because i got worn out being asking the same question every now and then!

ahaha~
i REAAAALLLLYYY messing up myself...( that's not a good thing, i suppose. blatantly i feel despair, sorrow...oh dear...)

p/s: this entri somehow using numbers of words-that-should-not-be-posted.

dump??? kudaran na~...

just now...i've been dump
dont get me wrong.
it's not that i already have couple or something
but it's just kind of my 'hope' is being dump away by that person
i know what he up to
but it's just too much
after getting what he what to know
he left me
just like that
without having even slightest gratitude of expression of being a human
so...fake
gee...he should have some conscience, awareness or something of handling those people around him.
i should ignore him
but...
what should i sya, i'm too kinda to trust him that he changed
even slightest
ah~
sometimes,
i hate myself
i should know how to manage my relationship with others...
what a mess...

the waiting is over...

Finally! the IB exam result is out...and...I'm bit surprised with the result...
Unexpectedly PLEASANT!!! YEAY~!!!
but...only to certain extend...as for some subjects, I know where I did wrong...
but I'm totally done!!!
YEAY~!!!
Celebrate? hurm...
i dont know, as my result may seem successful to some people, but, personally, I dont think so. Anyway, I'll just celebrate it, for my hardwork over 2 years.
whew~. I'm relieve...i'm done in this stage.
I got another stage awaiting for me this September...

Countdown to Check IB result; 3 hour 05 minutes left...

I don't know what to expect...but let's have fun! yeah~!!!

Modern Life?

when picture depict reality.
i guess, this pictures really says what I've been doing up to now.
somehow, i kind of feel irritated, proud (?), and sort of others feeling, until I feel nothing watching this picture...

Attitude is Everything.

I would like to share this story to you guys. I kind of like this story actually. Keep on reading!

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good or bad mood. The bottom line : It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business.

We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.

The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Francie Baltazar-Schwartz

Reality?

hahaha!
really... talking about my reality...
[i found this when i'm 'busy' stumbling.
honestly, for me...people who are 'stumbling', don't know what they are doing.
i'm talking about me here...]

Mozilla Firefox 3

OMG!!!
Firefox 3 way SO COOL!!!
so much improvement. all my loading pages takes secs. I dont know there are difference when
upgrading the browser. All my plugins and add-ons on mozilla works very well!
Not only that, I also install some of new add-ons, and it make my life surfing the web much easier, faster and organised!
wow...



24 hour later

Shit! why i can't surf on net now?!
My net seem to be working, all my modem LED light is blinking, and i know better that my modem configuration seems to be ok. What The Helll...
I had to configure why i'm getting into this trouble.

ISP?
no...so far it's seems ok. i even violate it's use, but seems to be working just fine.
modem config?
no... i know my modem configuration is just right, i set them up. there should not be a problem.

Owh, is it something that i install in 24 hours before?
lets see, which culprit that prevent me from surfing...

paint.net
does it require network bandwidth? no...it is image editor...
comic rack
viewing downloaded archive does not require bandwidth, isn'it?

ah.. i see...
it's upgraded mozilla firefox...
hurm
what's the prob with the new upgraded browser?...

3 hours later...
After able to figured out what the prob with the browser, i know that, i should not being TOO excited bout the upgraded software. and do not install too much add-ons that I don't need.
The plug-ins are the culprit.
I had to re-install the browser again, and selectively choose which add-ons that I need most.
After that, i able to enjoy the normal network bandwidth! Using Mozilla Firefox 3 that have not too much add-ons/plugins!
Indeed, the upgraded browser do have improvement in browsing the net.

I tired figuring out these kind of problem...

Teen Titans Theme Song - Puffy Amiyumi Video

i dont know why i'm taking this....

Sensitive Men and Crystal

sensitive men are like crystal
beautiful
and it is expensive
yet
it can be only glass in disguise
which is pretty much cheaper

crystal are nice
good to look
when you always clean it up
it will shine brightly under the sun
but
once you forget to clean it up
it's surface are covered by dust
and it's pretty tough to clean it up
so that it can shine brightly again

crystal are so beautiful
that you want to hold it tightly
but crystal are very sensitive
you are only able to touch it lightly
as
once broken
it can no longer able to be fix
you can glue it or solatape or do it whatever you might
and you might got the pieces together
but
it will never retain it's original form
but there still way
to get the pieces of crystal back into it's original form
by heating up under high pressure and temperature
and pour the liquid into the mould that
are used to shape the crystal
there you are
getting the original form
eventough it's similar to the original
but it is not the same
with the same one which broken crystal earlier
and you might want to
touch it
even more careful
you even decide
to stop touching it anymore
afraid of breaking the fragile crystal
who once break because of you

BAD DAY

Sorry, I dont mean to SHOUT. But thats the truth. I can't do anything today [except writing blog(?)], as I got cought by flu! Yeah, thanks to it, i able to sleep more than I usually do. but the worse thing is...I have to settle all my to-do-list by today!
Can I delay my to-do list? no way! It's regarding my future!

Generally, it's about stuff to be done for my placement at university. I have to get my passport picture done, [ 10 piece, and guess what? the requirement of the 'accepted' picture ARE: the background MUST be white, 3.5x4.5 , and it MUST be from head to the neck-which I have to ask my photoshop person to edit all those thing for me, what a bothersome]. And other stuff I already settle it. Thank God, with this kind of energy that i had, I able to finish up everything-of course aside from the passport pictures.

Ok then, i think, I had to stop here, as my head start to spinning around...and around...and around...

Finally!!!

After more than 4 month non-blogging life, finally...I'm able to post in the blog. It's pretty hard to delete my previous blog account, well it's not that I had no choice, but it's way TOO EMBARRASSING to read all my post...it's seem...ridiculous.

Hahaha! well that's me anyway.
Believe me, the decision of deleting the previous blog account is not that simple. It takes...about..a month? i think.

well, now with the new account, i want to start from the scratch. Since...I got life now, after 2 years at college...taking IB [International Baccalaureate to be exact]. IB is sure tough. But I enjoy it! ( Seriously sincere from the bottom of my heart) . but taking IB course also actually had prevent me from being 'loyal' to my previous account. Just imagine...i hardly online for a week. or two. Maintaining blog is not easy. It is easy to create a blog, but it is hard to maintain the blog.

Oh well, I'm not sure if i able to be a good blogger afterwards. maybe i can be a good blogger, but maybe for the first 3 month. as after this, i might further my study. again, maintaining a blog would be another type of challenge to me.

Alright! enough blabbering. actually, i just kind of 'heating' up my blog, or 'spicing' my blog or anything. but at least, it is as introduction of my blog.

WELCOME TO MY MIND!!!