Outdated for more than 3 weeks, the busiest year will start this Monday.

the tittle quite confusing for me. ah, heck. forget it. anyway, i just want to say that, i'm back and continously keep my blog outdated regularly. Haha!!! I'm at lost! 

[actually, this post is for updating purpose only special request from my dearest friend...]

o yeah, i already upload some of my pic at this foreign country on flickr, do visit them, yoroshiku-ne!

haih...
the busiest year will start this monday... ( i think i already mention it..o yeah, the title says so...)
one more thing, i found back my long lost love...(or so i thought...is it wrong for me to think like that?)

haha...

Questions that have no definite answer.

Today is the graduation day~! yeay!!!
i'll upload pic on the flickr later on, but as for today...

i were asked by a so-called friend, ( as we are not close enough, heck!)

"why people love to leave something that complicated and leave people in vain?"

and i said...
          ''what?''

who the heck he refering 'people'?
Out of nowhere he blurt it out, I was clueless.
Then he left me, with his sharp,sinister looking on his face.
That, enough to ruin my day, in addition some of my stuff I left on table are nowhere to found.
Luckily, i have my friends around me, although just a bit, help me forget of what he said earlier to me.
But, at home, those question keep ringing in my head, till it make my head hurts like hell.
I can't just ignore what he said, as he say it with 'that' face.

As i keep on recalling the question he asked, i wondering, isn't it should be ME that suppose to ask him the questions. What in the world he thinks of himself?
For those who knows me, u might know who the hell i'm talking bout right?
Well, it just that, i want to fret my frustation on the net, it's annoying though.
haha!!!
I want to go sleep~...tired...

"yesterday is history
tomorrow is mysteries
today is a gift, that's what its called 'present'"

This phrase is quite a catch, don't u think so?

Easier way to lead ur life?

"it's easier to be pessimistic and blame everything for anything that doesn't go your way.
it's easier to just lose hope and let go.
it's easier not to put effort into anything.
it's eaiser to be free and let everything slip.
it's easier not to care about a damn single thing.
it's easier to lose hope.


it's just easier that way.

isn't it? "

Is it so?
Personally,I think that is a foolish statement.
Eventough, I believe, most of us do think that way. Me too.
But that's only for a moment, after allowing that thought goes in my mind, i just let it pass.
I nvr have serious thought on that statement.

Frankly, if I really want my life to be THAT easy, would I ever find statisfication that I desire so much in my life?
I believe, without hardship, problems, life would be bored like hell and no excitement!
Leading life like that is meaningless, needless to say.
I enjoy feeling scared, troubled, even stress!
As , when I able to find ways to escape from the problems...
I feel very good about myself!
and soon afterthat, I start longing for troubles and problems...
But, i still have limits though.
That's when that foolish statement came to my head.
As i mention earlier, i just let it pass for a moment though.
As I want to enjoy the excitement being in trouble anyway~

I just hope that, ppl are not really gives up on their hopes to stay alive.
As i believe, as long as u alive in this world, there still hope.

if u feel alone, believe me, ur selfish-only thinking about ur self.
u dont even think about other ppl who cares bout u, which u dont realise it.
evn if ur alone, there still actually cares-God.
As why He evn bother to create u in the first place, if He wants u to live ur lives!
if u feel ur a failure, so what?
it's not like u lose ur life right? u still alive.
and u had to find ur ways to find find a new success, new way, ur way!
make it a new counterattack!
I got carried away though.
Well, it just that i feel kind of annoyed of ppl who tend to give up evn wthout trying.
it makes me sad... though.

I, as a muslim, knows well.
That there is always someone watching over me, cares for me.
Always be for me ( cruel me, who sometimes forget about him...)
and whenever I had that foolish thought,
i always pray to god.
Hope that he lead me to roght path, which
sometimes I mistaken it as bad for me, but in fact is not,
as only He knows the best for me.
He is my God.
And muslims, should know better, that
we live only for Him,
no matter what we do,
no matter what kiind of hardship u face through,
Allah is the one we should live our life for.
and
only for him
we depends on...

Is it wrong to be 'different'?

Weird...i have this kind of 'interest' which make me totally different from people around me.
eventough i'm still in the right path, but deep down myself, i know i'm different, in a way that contradicts with the norm in society...
Oh my~
i hope someone will help me keep me straight in this path...
but i wonder if anyone understands with what i mean with 'different'.
it's quite troublesome actually, to split it out what exactly i'm 'different'...
i think...
i had to perseverance as

"perseverance will bring great success" ~quote from someone else's motto...>,<

Social Network: My Space, Facebook, Friendster, etc...

lately(or should i mention, eversince the IB result was announced?), there are some of my blogger friends and friends that asked me.

" do u have any social networking account? u know...my space, friendster, facebook....and sorts"

heck of course i know. I'm ITGS student, i know what the h**l of social networking.
instead, i'm telling those people

" i delete my account already,it had been months now, since the IRP program starting around april"

some of those people stare me blankly, some laugh, ( probably they already seen my page even before i delete them, so they know it's quite impossible if i'm saying that i delete those account, reasoning how interactive my page was).

But also, some people bother to know why I delete those account (why bother? my choice right?), and some even dont even bother to ask why I delete those ( heck! they only asked me bout it so that they can 'expanding' their network by 'add' me as their 'friend'! Damn! like I care! - well I do care in a way)

ok, for those who asked why, let me tell u-clearly and frankly, what those social network means to me.
it means nothing, wasting my time, nurturing so-called 'popular' attitude...

I know, these site exist to keep friends in touch ( of course, that's why these type of site exist and keep expanding), letting others keep updated about our self. ( ppl can choose what info to be updated bout) and getting new friends. Instead, above all the reasons, i find myself lost in the network.
i dont know why, but i don't put up info so much in my page (like usually people do. Well, I do feel some kind of inferior?) and I was sucker at keeping updating my own profile.

"so u dont have these accounts, how u manage to keep update with ur friends?"

"i'm using IM(currently using ym), and all my friends have my ym ( i suppose). so, if they want to know the very updated info about me, they can directly asking me through ym, that's clear, and i know who i'm releasing my personal info to, more like i feeling secured this way actually"

They asked me

" so, other people, outside of ur friends circle, know nothing bout u? i mean, this is WWW and we are now in globalization era!"

Heck, why i need to use social network just to say 'hello! i am globalizing!'

daa~. i have my way to say that i'm globalist! then, why these blog exist in the first place??? also, not only i have this blog, i have several sites, and one of them is at flickr! (why am I so proud over this thing? o yeah, i'm still obsessed with Flickr, since i just register at it days ago)

arggh~these people, only know to condem other people, who did not go 'along with their flow'. laughing at people just because I'm different.
heck, i'm the one who laughing at u people! because ur all the same! hahaha!!! ( laughing like a freak moron~)

Gee, why i'm get carried away over such lil thing?
answer: because i got worn out being asking the same question every now and then!

ahaha~
i REAAAALLLLYYY messing up myself...( that's not a good thing, i suppose. blatantly i feel despair, sorrow...oh dear...)

p/s: this entri somehow using numbers of words-that-should-not-be-posted.

dump??? kudaran na~...

just now...i've been dump
dont get me wrong.
it's not that i already have couple or something
but it's just kind of my 'hope' is being dump away by that person
i know what he up to
but it's just too much
after getting what he what to know
he left me
just like that
without having even slightest gratitude of expression of being a human
so...fake
gee...he should have some conscience, awareness or something of handling those people around him.
i should ignore him
but...
what should i sya, i'm too kinda to trust him that he changed
even slightest
ah~
sometimes,
i hate myself
i should know how to manage my relationship with others...
what a mess...

Sensitive Men and Crystal

sensitive men are like crystal
beautiful
and it is expensive
yet
it can be only glass in disguise
which is pretty much cheaper

crystal are nice
good to look
when you always clean it up
it will shine brightly under the sun
but
once you forget to clean it up
it's surface are covered by dust
and it's pretty tough to clean it up
so that it can shine brightly again

crystal are so beautiful
that you want to hold it tightly
but crystal are very sensitive
you are only able to touch it lightly
as
once broken
it can no longer able to be fix
you can glue it or solatape or do it whatever you might
and you might got the pieces together
but
it will never retain it's original form
but there still way
to get the pieces of crystal back into it's original form
by heating up under high pressure and temperature
and pour the liquid into the mould that
are used to shape the crystal
there you are
getting the original form
eventough it's similar to the original
but it is not the same
with the same one which broken crystal earlier
and you might want to
touch it
even more careful
you even decide
to stop touching it anymore
afraid of breaking the fragile crystal
who once break because of you