when everything seems so special

...then, it's just mean that the HEART is in it's excited state...haha..

repressed desire

i have these kind of desire; to give all my best in;

1.  whatever i'm doing.
2.  what/stuff that i like.

as far as i concern, if i ever reflect on myself for this 19 years i live,  i only had fulfill my desire for no 2. but not so much for my desire in no 1. 

why?
i tell u. both desire are different. completely different.
why?
figure it out by urself. 

why? 

who knows...

...

is it still possible to move forward while holding on to past that you can not possibly abandon?

Questions that have no definite answer.

Today is the graduation day~! yeay!!!
i'll upload pic on the flickr later on, but as for today...

i were asked by a so-called friend, ( as we are not close enough, heck!)

"why people love to leave something that complicated and leave people in vain?"

and i said...
          ''what?''

who the heck he refering 'people'?
Out of nowhere he blurt it out, I was clueless.
Then he left me, with his sharp,sinister looking on his face.
That, enough to ruin my day, in addition some of my stuff I left on table are nowhere to found.
Luckily, i have my friends around me, although just a bit, help me forget of what he said earlier to me.
But, at home, those question keep ringing in my head, till it make my head hurts like hell.
I can't just ignore what he said, as he say it with 'that' face.

As i keep on recalling the question he asked, i wondering, isn't it should be ME that suppose to ask him the questions. What in the world he thinks of himself?
For those who knows me, u might know who the hell i'm talking bout right?
Well, it just that, i want to fret my frustation on the net, it's annoying though.
haha!!!
I want to go sleep~...tired...

"yesterday is history
tomorrow is mysteries
today is a gift, that's what its called 'present'"

This phrase is quite a catch, don't u think so?

Easier way to lead ur life?

"it's easier to be pessimistic and blame everything for anything that doesn't go your way.
it's easier to just lose hope and let go.
it's easier not to put effort into anything.
it's eaiser to be free and let everything slip.
it's easier not to care about a damn single thing.
it's easier to lose hope.


it's just easier that way.

isn't it? "

Is it so?
Personally,I think that is a foolish statement.
Eventough, I believe, most of us do think that way. Me too.
But that's only for a moment, after allowing that thought goes in my mind, i just let it pass.
I nvr have serious thought on that statement.

Frankly, if I really want my life to be THAT easy, would I ever find statisfication that I desire so much in my life?
I believe, without hardship, problems, life would be bored like hell and no excitement!
Leading life like that is meaningless, needless to say.
I enjoy feeling scared, troubled, even stress!
As , when I able to find ways to escape from the problems...
I feel very good about myself!
and soon afterthat, I start longing for troubles and problems...
But, i still have limits though.
That's when that foolish statement came to my head.
As i mention earlier, i just let it pass for a moment though.
As I want to enjoy the excitement being in trouble anyway~

I just hope that, ppl are not really gives up on their hopes to stay alive.
As i believe, as long as u alive in this world, there still hope.

if u feel alone, believe me, ur selfish-only thinking about ur self.
u dont even think about other ppl who cares bout u, which u dont realise it.
evn if ur alone, there still actually cares-God.
As why He evn bother to create u in the first place, if He wants u to live ur lives!
if u feel ur a failure, so what?
it's not like u lose ur life right? u still alive.
and u had to find ur ways to find find a new success, new way, ur way!
make it a new counterattack!
I got carried away though.
Well, it just that i feel kind of annoyed of ppl who tend to give up evn wthout trying.
it makes me sad... though.

I, as a muslim, knows well.
That there is always someone watching over me, cares for me.
Always be for me ( cruel me, who sometimes forget about him...)
and whenever I had that foolish thought,
i always pray to god.
Hope that he lead me to roght path, which
sometimes I mistaken it as bad for me, but in fact is not,
as only He knows the best for me.
He is my God.
And muslims, should know better, that
we live only for Him,
no matter what we do,
no matter what kiind of hardship u face through,
Allah is the one we should live our life for.
and
only for him
we depends on...

Is it wrong to be 'different'?

Weird...i have this kind of 'interest' which make me totally different from people around me.
eventough i'm still in the right path, but deep down myself, i know i'm different, in a way that contradicts with the norm in society...
Oh my~
i hope someone will help me keep me straight in this path...
but i wonder if anyone understands with what i mean with 'different'.
it's quite troublesome actually, to split it out what exactly i'm 'different'...
i think...
i had to perseverance as

"perseverance will bring great success" ~quote from someone else's motto...>,<

dump??? kudaran na~...

just now...i've been dump
dont get me wrong.
it's not that i already have couple or something
but it's just kind of my 'hope' is being dump away by that person
i know what he up to
but it's just too much
after getting what he what to know
he left me
just like that
without having even slightest gratitude of expression of being a human
so...fake
gee...he should have some conscience, awareness or something of handling those people around him.
i should ignore him
but...
what should i sya, i'm too kinda to trust him that he changed
even slightest
ah~
sometimes,
i hate myself
i should know how to manage my relationship with others...
what a mess...

Attitude is Everything.

I would like to share this story to you guys. I kind of like this story actually. Keep on reading!

Jerry was the kind of guy you love to hate. He was always in a good mood and always had something positive to say. When someone ask him how he was doing, he would reply, "If I were any better, I would be twins!"

He was a unique manager because he had several waiters who had followed him around from restaurant to restaurant. The reason the waiters followed Jerry was because of his attitude. He was a natural motivator. If an employee was having a bad day, Jerry was there telling the employee how to look on the positive side of the situation.

Seeing this style really made me curious, so one day I went up to Jerry and asked him, "I don't get it! You can't be a positive person all of the time. How do you do it?"

Jerry replied, "Each morning I wake up and say to myself, Jerry, you have two choices today. You can choose to be in a good mood or you can choose to be in a bad mood.' I choose to be in a good mood. Each time something bad happens, I can choose to be a victim or I can choose to learn from it. I choose to learn from it. Every time someone comes to me complaining, I can choose to accept their complaining or I can point out the positive side of life. I choose the positive side of life."

"Yeah, right, it's not that easy," I protested.

"Yes it is," Jerry said. "Life is all about choices. When you cut away all the junk, every situation is a choice. You choose how you react to situations. You choose how people will affect your mood. You choose to be in a good or bad mood. The bottom line : It's your choice how you live life."

I reflected on what Jerry said. Soon thereafter, I left the restaurant industry to start my own business.

We lost touch, but I often thought about him when I made a choice about life instead of reacting to it.

Several years later, I heard that Jerry did something you are never supposed to do in a restaurant business: he left the back door open one morning and was held up at gunpoint by three armed robbers. While trying to open the safe, his hand, shaking from nervousness, slipped off the combination.

The robbers panicked and shot him.

Luckily, Jerry was found relatively quickly and rushed to the local trauma center.

After 18 hours of surgery and weeks of intensive care, Jerry was released from the hospital with fragments of the bullets still in his body.

I saw Jerry about six months after the accident. When I asked him how he was, he replied, "If I were any better, I'd be twins. Wanna see my scars?"

I declined to see his wounds, but did ask him what had gone through his mind as the robbery took place.

"The first thing that went through my mind was that I should have locked the back door," Jerry replied. "Then, as I lay on the floor, I remembered that I had two choices: I could choose to live, or I could choose to die. I chose to live."

"Weren't you scared? Did you lose consciousness?" I asked.

Jerry continued, "The paramedics were great. They kept telling me I was going to be fine. But when they wheeled me into the emergency room and I saw the expressions on the faces of the doctors and nurses, I got really scared. In their eyes, I read, 'He's a dead man.' I knew I needed to take action."

"What did you do?" I asked.

"Well, there was a big, burly nurse shouting questions at me," said Jerry. "She asked if I was allergic to anything. 'Yes,' I replied. The doctors and nurses stopped working as they waited for my reply. I took a deep breath and yelled, 'Bullets!' Over their laughter, I told them, 'I am choosing to live. Operate on me as if I am alive, not dead."

Jerry lived thanks to the skill of his doctors, but also because of his amazing attitude. I learned from him that every day we have the choice to live fully.

Attitude, after all, is everything.

Francie Baltazar-Schwartz